This isn’t going to sound super spiritual, but I don’t always understand why God does or allows things to happen in my life or in the world. I’m sure some of you out there will feel exactly the same and even more of you will say “duh Daniel”. In the midst of my greatest trials and suffering, I can clearly look back and I know that it was the grace of God alone that allowed me to walk, or crawl, through them. But in my human nature, my natural response is to demand an answer from God. He doesn’t promise me one.
Scripture reminds us that God’s ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:9). He knows the end from the beginning and it is God alone who knows all and uses all for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). Even knowing that in my mind doesn’t not always translate in to being able to accept that in my heart. What I mean is this: even though I know the Scripture, in my human weakness I struggle to hold on to those promises.
I know there are some super spiritual warriors out there that will say “just believe”, but that’s exactly what I am struggling with today. I am thankful that the God I serve knows my doubts, fears, and failures and He chooses to love me anyway. My mind constantly turns back to 2 Corinthians 12:9 as I am reminded: the grace of Jesus is enough. His strength is made perfect in my weakness. Jesus is using me in my brokenness, and let there be no doubt… I am a broken man.
This morning my heart aches as I scream out in my mind… “you took my daughter…” and as He often does, God gently reminds me: “but I gave you my Son” (John 3:16). As my heart breaks missing my daughter, I know that God knows my pain. This morning I don’t know what struggle you’re going through, but I do know this: God knows. Not only does He know, but He cares.
My greatest desire is to tell you that God loves you. In the midst of your deepest doubts and greatest suffering, He has not left your side. Through faith in Jesus, nothing can separate us from the love of God (Romans 8:38-39). Take all your questions, doubts, anger, hurt and suffering directly to the only One who can give you the peace and love you need to get through this storm. When we place our faith in Jesus, we become sons and daughters of God. Because of that, we can come directly to the throne of God in our deepest need and we will receive mercy and grace to help us endure. (Hebrews 4:16)
I’ll leave you with this thought, my heart may never fully heal in this world. The love and longing I have for my sweet Brynleigh is overpowering. But I promise you this: there will be a day where she and I will be reunited. In that place she and I will rest in the peace and love of the Father. In that place, free from death, sorrow, pain or hunger, she and I will worship the One who gave us our love to begin with (Revelation 21:14). Don’t give up if you are weary, wounded and broken… Jesus is calling to you: “come”. (Matthew 11:28)