Growing up as a young business professional, often I had mentors and managers share this feedback: It isn’t what you said, it is how you said it. So often I have watched as Gospel conversations, interactions about Jesus, and Biblical messages have failed to launch not because of the content but because of the context. As Christ followers, we often allow the discussion to be derailed by our own attitude or how we proclaim the hope of Jesus so we never really get to the why.
Over the past several years, I have been so blessed to serve in full time ministry. As I serve as a pastor, I have learned more in the few short years I’ve been serving in this capacity then I did for the years before. I can remember sometime ago watching a move in theaters with my wife on a Saturday night. The movie, a deeply disturbing look at the horrors of child sex trafficking, left me angry, disgusted, and heartbroken.
That night I couldn’t sleep as the thoughts of that ongoing tragedy echoed in my mind. The next morning as I stood before the congregation, I was angry as I preached and taught. After that day and the loving conviction of the Lord, I decided to do everything possible to avoid ever preaching with an angry heart or mind. The reason I think that is so important is simple: What I felt led to say got lost in how I said it. Can you relate?
Here in the US, society has grown more polarized, divided, and hostile than I can ever remember. It seems like so many people are shouting, but no one is really listening. James 1:19 comes to mind: Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. Too often, our enemy gets us into a place of stress, anxiety, and panic as we get whirled into a frenzy where we speak quickly, emotionally, and often do so much harm to our witness as Christ followers. Today I want to challenge you with the theme I am often challenged with: Listen more. Speak less. Engage prayerfully and carefully, with joy, respect, kindness, and love (see 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 and 1 Peter 3:15).
Now, back to the thought: Often, it isn’t what you say but how you say it that can make all the difference. I’d like to remind you of a breathtaking Biblical truth. In Christ, you and I have this call: Let all that you do be done in love. (1 Corinthians 16:14). That is an incredibly comprehensive, and profoundly simple to understand, command. I don’t think there is any question of God’s intent through the Scripture. We are to be a people who are known by our love for Christ and our love for others (see John 13:34-35). The only question that remains is… what is love?
Let me stop you for a moment. The love we are called to is not worldly love. We don’t have to guess or wonder what this type of love should look like, the Scripture tells us. One commentator said that Biblical love is the “decision to compassionately, righteously, and responsibly seek the wellbeing of another.” For me, the Scripture puts it even more plainly: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
So, what is the application? The words we speak, the posts we posts, the texts we send, the content we share, the way we interact, the way we serve and engage, even the way we proclaim the hope of Jesus, should all be done in Biblical love. If not, don’t be surprised when people don’t really care what you have to say because of the way you said it. Even if what we said is rejected or hostility is the response, let us still respond in Christ’s love.
I want to end this blog post with a thought: Jesus should be our example here. As I read the Gospels, I watch Jesus engaging with people who were hostile to His testimony and the truth He proclaimed. I see Him engaging with lost religious people, prostitutes, tax collectors, outcasts, rejects, and the worst society had to offer. Yet, I see a calm, determined, passionate, profound, incredible, beautiful love, compassion, and grace as He shared the life saving, life transforming truth of the Gospel of the Kingdom of God. Now, the call is up to you and me as true followers of Jesus to go out and live, serve, and proclaim the hope of Jesus just like Him.
P.S: If you are reading this blog post and you aren’t a follower of Christ, but you’ve experienced someone failing to live out the teachings of Jesus, please look to Jesus. He alone has the power to save, transform, and set you free. No matter how much His servants might fail, He never will. Please visit https://myemanuel.com/i-am-ready to learn more about the hope of Jesus Christ and the Gospel.